ENYA JOINS HEAVY
Irish folk star Enya has secretly joined a heavy metal band.
Fans of Enya will be shocked to to discover that the attractive 39 year singer has joined a heavy metal band. The band Exit Wound recruited Enya as backing vocalist without knowing her true identity, according to lead singer Dave Hades "Our previous backing vocalist left to join the Cradle of Filth, we advertised in Kerrang for a replacement. Six women showed up for the audition, a woman calling herself Black Mamba was chosen unaminously by the band. She had the looks, plus an excellent voice".
Enya first appeared with Exit Wound at Rio's in Bradford, England and proved an immediate hit with the crowd when she stage dived into the shocked rockers. Rock fan, Mark Singleton was present "This gig was the second time I've seen Exit Wound. They'd got themselves this new bird as backing vocals, a bit of alright she was. I couldn't believe it when she stage dived. She hurled herself towards me and my mates, I got quite a good feel of her tits as we caught her".
It was only after Dave Hades bought himslef a copy of Enya's latest CD "A day without rain" that Dave recognised her, "I confronted her with the CD cover, there was no doubt it was her on the front. She burst into tears and pleaded to stay with the band. I gave her a hug and said it was OK to stay with us"
Although Enya likes to keep a low profile, it is well known in music circles that she's a keen heavy metal fan. Recently she excused herself from singing in front of the Pope and instead attended the Ozzfest in California. Reportedly the Pontiff was enraged when he found out.
In complete contrast to her strict catholic upbringing, Enya has completely taken to her new lifestyle, when Exit Wound played in Rotterdam last month Enya is reputed to have drank a whole bottle of neat tequila in a hotel room after the show. In her drunken state she allegedly entered the dining room, stood on a table and did a solo performance of Exit Wounds' new hit "Death or Glory". The hotel manager, Ronald van der Jonk alleges that after he politely told her to quiten down she pushed over a large fish tank in the reception area.
Since word of Exit Wounds' new star has spread the band have leapt in popularity. Industry insiders believe the band could overtake heavy metal heavy-weights Metallica within months. In addition to 3 albums the band are due to release a video that is said to feature a PVC clad Enya wrestling with another woman dressed as a nun, church leaders have already slammed the video "Our nations youth is being corrupted by this type of material, Enya and the rest of the band should be burnt at the stake" commented one senior church figure. Even some inside the notoriously open minded heavy metal business have been aghast at Enyas behaviour. At the Reading festival last summer, Exit Wound appeared alongside Marilyn Manson. Mr Manson was quite concerned about the language Enya was using, at one point Marilyn Manson stormed off stage in protest but was persuaded by festival organisers to return to the stage.
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