Blair attacks Hollywood !
A controversial new tax introduced by the socialist government in Britain is having a devastating effect on the movie business, the tax known as the "Hollytax" means the British government grabs 25% of the worldwide takings of all US movies. All across Hollywood, Malibu, Beverly Hills and places like that top stars are desperate to make ends meet. The phenomena of hard up stars hit the headlines last week when Demi Moore was arrested for soliciting on Century Boulevard, her case comes to court next month. Ms Moores case represents the tip of the iceberg and the Silly News can reveal the lengths other cash strapped stars are going to in their quest for keeping the wolf at bay. Tough guy Arnold Swarzeneggar spends most evening working in a West Hollywood hair salon, the owner, Toni Portillo said "Not many of my customers recognise him as he does their locks. He works like a robot and his quite adept with a wide range of cutting implements,. To curl hair he uses something he calls a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range - it certainly works!". On a good day Arnie can double his paycheck with tips.
Funny man Jim Carey manages to hold down two part time jobs. On most Friday and Saturday nights he can be found working as a bouncer at a night club in Compton, most other nights he finds gentler work delivering pizza in the Marina Del Ray district. Jim believes these roles help his acting career as well as providing money to feed his family, like most other stars he hates the tax, "Tony Blair and his grasping government sucks" said an embittered Carey at this years Oscar ceremony. The British government sent a tax demand of over $6 million to Leonardo deCaprio. He felt he had no option other than to pay the tax. He has sold his mansion on Doheny Drive and now lives in an apartment complex in South Central LA. The stars fall from grace has been complete, he now has a crack habit and deals to other stars to fund his habit. Clint Eastwood refused to pay his $2.5 million bill and has said "the British government can come to Carmel and collect it" as he brandished a big gun with a red pointy dot coming out of it.
The tax has caused something of a rift in Anglo-American relations, it is reported that during a recent offiicial visit to Britain President Clinton failed to flush the lavotory after doing a poo as a sign of protest. The situation is somewhat reminiscent of the "Boston tea party" wherby excessive British taxes led to the independance of the US. Movie moguls have hit back by producing a film called "Blitler" which stars Nicholas Cage as Tony Blair come Adolf Hitler, the US Presidenr agreed to take part in filming.
The British premier, Tony Blair is unrepentant about the new tax. He is recently quoted as saying "The yanks have copied our language and we deserve a royalty for this. Also they make us look like bastards in films like the Patriot and Braveheart so this tax is entirely justified", it is also rumoured the British government is trying to introduce a similar tax on the music industry.